Harry Potter and the Quest for the holy Wand 2
Wednesday, 1 August 2007 03:03![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
immaSCENE 2
The setting is a very derelict village, villagers clawing around in the mud, eating it and generally dying...
[thud]
[clang]
Flitwick, the cartmaster, is collecting the dead, who have been killed by the plague, in a large two-wheeled cart. He bangs his wand against a small cauldron.
FLITWICK: Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Flick out your head!
[clang]
Swish out your bread!
[clang]
Zap out your lead!
[cough cough...the sick lie in the mud, crawling, coughing and moaning]
[clang]
[...cough cough]
Wring out your bed!
[clang]
Sling out your net!
[clang]
Bring out your dead! Ninepence. [Flitwick collects the money and a body is thrown on the cart]
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out...
[rewr! - an old and foul witch is banging her black cat against the wall for eating her husband who was an Animagus - unfortunately his form was a mouse - *snerk*]
...your dead!
[rewr! - and there the cat bangs against the wall yet again]
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[Minerva McGonagall walks over to Flitwick, a young man slung over her shoulder]
MINERVA MCGONAGALL: Here's one.
FLITWICK: Ninepence.
TOM RIDDLE: I'm not dead!
FLITWICK: What?
MINERVA: Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
TOM RIDDLE: I'm not dead!
FLITWICK: 'Ere. He says he's not dead!
MINERVA: Yes, he is.
TOM RIDDLE: I'm not!
FLITWICK: He isn't?
MINERVA: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
TOM RIDDLE: I'm getting better!
MINERVA: No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
FLITWICK: Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
TOM RIDDLE: I don't want to go on the cart!
MINERVA: Oh, don't be such a baby.
FLITWICK: I can't take him.
TOM RIDDLE: I feel fine!
MINERVA: Well, do us a favour.
FLITWICK: I can't.
MINERVA: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
FLITWICK: No, I've got to go to the Weasley’s. They've lost nine today.
MINERVA: Well, when's your next round?
FLITWICK: Thursday.
TOM RIDDLE: I think I'll go for a walk or write in my diary.
MINERVA: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
TOM RIDDLE: [singing] I feel happy. I feel happy.
[swish and flick] Flitwick smacks Tom on the head with a vicious looking flobberworm, he falls over.
MINERVA: Ah, thanks very much.
FLITWICK: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
MINERVA: Right. All right.
[howl]
[clop clop clop] King Harry and Seamus ‘ride’ through the derelict village
MINERVA: Who's that, then?
FLITWICK: I dunno. Must be a king.
MINERVA: Why?
FLITWICK: He hasn't got hippogryf shite all over him.
Well, boyz and girlz, that's it for today
The setting is a very derelict village, villagers clawing around in the mud, eating it and generally dying...
[thud]
[clang]
Flitwick, the cartmaster, is collecting the dead, who have been killed by the plague, in a large two-wheeled cart. He bangs his wand against a small cauldron.
FLITWICK: Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Flick out your head!
[clang]
Swish out your bread!
[clang]
Zap out your lead!
[cough cough...the sick lie in the mud, crawling, coughing and moaning]
[clang]
[...cough cough]
Wring out your bed!
[clang]
Sling out your net!
[clang]
Bring out your dead! Ninepence. [Flitwick collects the money and a body is thrown on the cart]
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out...
[rewr! - an old and foul witch is banging her black cat against the wall for eating her husband who was an Animagus - unfortunately his form was a mouse - *snerk*]
...your dead!
[rewr! - and there the cat bangs against the wall yet again]
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[Minerva McGonagall walks over to Flitwick, a young man slung over her shoulder]
MINERVA MCGONAGALL: Here's one.
FLITWICK: Ninepence.
TOM RIDDLE: I'm not dead!
FLITWICK: What?
MINERVA: Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
TOM RIDDLE: I'm not dead!
FLITWICK: 'Ere. He says he's not dead!
MINERVA: Yes, he is.
TOM RIDDLE: I'm not!
FLITWICK: He isn't?
MINERVA: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
TOM RIDDLE: I'm getting better!
MINERVA: No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
FLITWICK: Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
TOM RIDDLE: I don't want to go on the cart!
MINERVA: Oh, don't be such a baby.
FLITWICK: I can't take him.
TOM RIDDLE: I feel fine!
MINERVA: Well, do us a favour.
FLITWICK: I can't.
MINERVA: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
FLITWICK: No, I've got to go to the Weasley’s. They've lost nine today.
MINERVA: Well, when's your next round?
FLITWICK: Thursday.
TOM RIDDLE: I think I'll go for a walk or write in my diary.
MINERVA: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
TOM RIDDLE: [singing] I feel happy. I feel happy.
[swish and flick] Flitwick smacks Tom on the head with a vicious looking flobberworm, he falls over.
MINERVA: Ah, thanks very much.
FLITWICK: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
MINERVA: Right. All right.
[howl]
[clop clop clop] King Harry and Seamus ‘ride’ through the derelict village
MINERVA: Who's that, then?
FLITWICK: I dunno. Must be a king.
MINERVA: Why?
FLITWICK: He hasn't got hippogryf shite all over him.
Well, boyz and girlz, that's it for today
